I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
