I heard we made out
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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