just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
this will be a night to untag.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
