We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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