well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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