remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
