Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
