Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
