pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
