NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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