I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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