Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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