Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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