Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
