i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
