Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
