He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
