I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
