I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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