thus making me awesome and them whores
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
