Little spoons don't ask big questions
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
No subtext here. People are naked.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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