So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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