I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
