After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
