the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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