Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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