if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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