Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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