So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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