Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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