i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
