I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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