fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
