So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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