I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I want her autograph on my taint
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
