His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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