Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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