It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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