He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
