I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
