my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
