Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
