Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
