Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
