It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I need water and some morals
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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