I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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