Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
