Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
