Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
