i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
