Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
