He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
