Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
