He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
