He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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