and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
