eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
