I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
