it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
