so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
