remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
