we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
